Sand Cat
by Comycat1987
Summary: Sasuke Uchiha falls in love with something he never expected... And that someone is a fluffy feline! Follow Sasuke as he learns a wild cat is not a best pet for an Uchiha. Humor, urine, scratches and caterwauling ensues! (I don't know, please give it a chance, it's for humor. Warning, strong language. Have a good day!)


**(Note: I'm sorry for the second update, just fixing some stuff. Expect that through the day. If you review, which I strongly ask you do, please don't say nasty things** **. I am bullied constantly and have depression issues, so I apreciate if you at least word your objections nicely.)**

 **I just don't know anymore. I do not own Naruto. Please review.**

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Deserts were not Sasuke's favorite place. It was far to hot, and although the Uchiha clan liked it's fire style justu, this was a step too far. Also, sand got in the most unexpected and uncomfortable places.

Team 7 trotted through the blistering heat, their mission completed. Naruto whined about many things- mission rank, heat, sand, bathroom opportunities. His words were nothing more than a test of Sasuke's patience.

It was while they were passing a large rock that Sauske saw it.

It was sitting on the top of the rock, sandy brown fur with faint black spots on its torso. It sat elegantly, one paw raised to its face, black paw pads showing. It's face was rounded, with small pointed ears and gently curving whiskers. Two black bands adorned it's front legs. It's black tipped tail curled around its legs. It was a sand cat.

Sasuke froze. He watched it slowly lick its paw with heavy eyes, fat yellow body blending with the sand.

It was at that moment, Sasuke fell in love. He _needed_ that fat, fluffy, dare he say _adorable_ sand cat.

Sasuke waited till Team 7 had gotten a considerable distance away before moving in. The Uchiha slowly snuck up behind the rock, eyes focused.

The cats head turned, ears swiveling. Unfortunately, black and blue does not blend in well with sand and rock. The cat made a sharp hiding sound, followed by a spit. Sasuke stayed still.

The cat licked its lips and glared at him, claws unsheathed and ears flattened against its head.

Sasuke focused his chakra to his feet and pushed, leaping towards the feline. The cat spit and tried to run away, but it was too late as Sasuke wrapped his arms around the fluffy creature. The sand cat made many unpleasant noises and kicked at his hands with its hing legs, effectively leaving deep scratches. Sasuke didn't care, however. He was enchanted by how soft the fur was, how thick it was.

Sasuke picked up the struggling cat, stubbornly refusing to let go, and attempted to put the poor feline in his book bag. The cat continued to fight, even biting him, but he eventually got it in the book bag (it was durning this he found out it was female.) The cat kicked and caterwauled but had no means of escape as the Uchiha went after his now gone teammates.

By the time he caught up, Sakura had been looking for him. She looked relieved as she saw Sasuke approach, until she spotted the red scratches on his arms.

"Sasuke, what happened to you!?"

"Hn."

"Hn is not a word." Naruto said.

It was then the two ninja noticed a growling and meowing sound. They both looked around, while Kakashi's face remained buried in his book.

"Hmmmm, seems like Sasuke found a friend."

Sasuke looked away.

"Whaaaaaaat…. Does he have a cat in his bag?"

"Sasuke, why would you put a poor cat in your book bag?

"Do cats even live in the desert?"

"It's a sand cat, dobe." Sasuke growled.

"Sasuke, is there a reason you took a wild cat and put in in your book bag?" Kakashi's asked.

"None of your business."

Sasuke decided to walk away before anyone asked any more questions.

…

By the time he got home, the cat had calmed down, only letting out the occasional meow. Sasuke's mom had a cat when he was young. They had it for about a year before the poor cat found out that ninja poison was not a treat. They had kept the litter box and food bowls _somewhere_ , Sauske just couldn't remember where.

He put the bag on the couch as he looked for the unused supplies. He emerged from his basement victorious about 20 minutes later, covered in cobwebs and dust. He had found a litter box, hoards of cat litter, toys, and a bed that reeked of mildew. He threw the bed away and set the litter box up, coughing as the litter left a thin cloud of dust hanging in the air.

The Uchiha never thought he would own a cat. He had always liked dogs, especially when he was a kid, but now the idea of a cat seemed so much better to him. They were quiet, less energetic and behaved better than he imagined a dog would. However, he was about to find out how wrong he was.

Sasuke approached his book bag. The cat was silent and unmoving now. He pulled the zipper away slowly, revealing large Hazle eyes and white teeth.

The cat screeched and lunged, and the Uchiha moved away just in time. The cat dashed away, her paws making a fast paced thumping sound. Sasuke followed the cat calmly, hands in his pockets.

The sand cat ran into his door, and turned around with its back arched and tail curved into a sharp n shape, spitting. Sasuke stopped and slowly got down onto his knees, like he saw Kakashi do the one time out of many they had to catch a cat.

The cat hissed again, pupils like thin slits of coal. She then turned around and started scratching at the door, then the ground in front of the door. While the cat was scratching Sasuke reached forward. This proved to be a mistake, as the second his hand scraped the tips of its fur the cat turned around and attacked his hand. Sasuke grunted and pulled his hand away. _Dammit… I'm covered in scratches now, hn._

The cat took this as a sign to flee, and she jumped up onto his counter and ran into the window. She then went through the same process as the door, except this time her claws left scratches on the glass.

The cat looked around, frightened, before jumping away. Sasuke decided to leave her alone for the time being. _She'll calm down eventually._

In the meantime, Sasuke had to figure out what to feed her. It probably ate the same food a normal house cat would, but he had none. He _did_ have plenty of meat and rice balls, and some sushi as well, but most of that was spicy. Sasuke decided that a chicken was the way to go a few pulled it out of his refrigerator.

He left the food item unatended (wow you hare a horrible cat owner Sasuke) while he went to check on the whereabouts of the cat. After some looking he found it in his room… As well as the strong odor of cat urine.

"… Really?" Sasuke as not thrilled with this new development. As much as he loved his new "pet", he didn't want to smell cat pee everywhere.

The cat was hiding never his bed, glaring at him.

"No. Litter box." Sasuke pointed down the hallway. "Not my room. Or anywhere other than the litter box."

Sasuke's annoyance scared the cat, and it darted away, a quick yellow blur.

Sasuke didn't follow the cat this time, instead sitting on his couch. The sky was getting darker outside, and he felt like staring into space while dreaming of the day he killed Itachi.

His fantasies were cut short by a loud growling sound. Sasuke turned his head to see a little yellow kitty with his chicken in her mouth, dragging it across the floor.

Sasuke shot up. "Hey, no!"

Sasuke approached the cat, causing it to run to the nearest corner and stand stiffly over its prize, it's eyes practically screaming "you touch this chicken and you will never see the light of day again."

It started savagely tearing at the bird, it's eyes fixed on the Uchiha standing over it.

Sasuke looked down as his chicken was devoured before his eyes. It had eaten about three quarters of the bird before it stopped.

"…. I was planning on cooking that for the both of us, you asscat."

The cat picked up the remains of the chicken and smugly trotted away with it, tail in the air.

Sasuke sighed. _Why am I being mocked by a cat?_

The cat returned to his room and took the chicken under his bed. Sasuke got down onto the floor and stared at the feline.

"I do not need a rotting carcass under my bed. Please kindly return the merchandise."

" *hiss* "

"Let my rephrase that in a manner that is not deceptive of my personality: give me the f*cking chicken, cat."

"Mrrrrooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…."

Sasuke decided enough was enough and activated his Sharingan. He stared at the cat, trying to put it under genjutsu.

He thought he had succeeded when it's pupils slowly dilated. It approached him slowly, eyes almost completely covered by big black pupils.

"Hn."

The cat jumped onto his lap, and let Sasuke pet it. He was very happy with himself, and enjoyed the soft fur his hand touched.

It was only until his hand reached the base of the cats tail things went bad. The cat raised its butt into the air, making a very unpleasant sound. It shuffled its legs and dug its claws into his legs.

Sasuke threw the cat off, startled. _What the hell! Did I send the thing into heat?!_

The cat moved around with its belly close to the ground, meowing loudly. Sasuke pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Great hokage why?"

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 **I have no idea what this is… I just like sand cats and Sasuke, so… Lol. I'm pretty well with animals, so I'm actually happy with how this turned out writing wise. Sasuke may be a little ooc… But who cares, this is for humor purpose. I'm going to work on the next chapter, and I need ideas for names! Please review, and have a good day :D**


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